Showing posts with label hippy snacks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hippy snacks. Show all posts

Thursday

Of Men and Mice


Okay so really just of men, but hey, semantics right?

So I figured out the perfect places to meet men. I haven't actually tried any of these out but figure in theory they should be fabulous:

1. The Drycleaners

· Pros:

Any man who goes to the drycleaners will probably be bathed and we know he has clean clothes.
He also most likely has a job as dry-cleaning is not cheap. That’s already twice as good as my last boyfriend.

· The problem:
His wife/girlfriend probably sent him.


2. The Farmers Market

· Pros:
Enjoys healthy food
Perhaps a masterful chef
Likes the environment
Cares about quality
May use more than one kind of lettuce when preparing a homemade salad

· Cons:

Frequently says things like “dude…that’s awesome”
Grooming is infrequent at best
Insists on keeping the compost right beside your $650 Prada shoes


3. A Football Game or Other Sporting Event

· Pros:
A man who doesn’t stand for something (even if it’s gro
wn men running around in tights touching each others butts) is a man who will fall for anything.
Men need instant replays in their lives; it helps them remember other important stuff.
Society dictates that men who like sports are hot and masculine. I listen to society dammit.
Also, you get to wear tight fun colored clothing and pretend to care. Men love this, even if you root for the other team:


· Cons:
Men can take their sports very seriously, if you meet an avid fan, be prepared to deal with the consequences. I like watching sports so this is not such a con for me but for some: beware.
Often smell like beer
Will feed you romantic lines such as “Hey, grab me two more”, and “Let’s get huddled before I touchdown”

I’m prepared to test my theories out for the good of all woman-kind. I’ll let you know how it goes.