Asshats (Can I Title My Posts With an Expletive?)

I hate facebook. I think it's the spawn of the Devil. See, as much as I try to use it for world peace and stuff that's good for mankind (and such as) I find myself turning into a creepy stalker every once in a while. Last night for example I casually clicked on (ex)pseudo-bf's page and looked through his pictures while holding my stuffed rabbit to my eyes, rocking back and forth a little, sobbing and hyperventilating into a brown paper bag.


I did however look at his new girlfriend, who has a little message on her page for me - what the hell? Let's say her name is Beach (and not for the obvious resemblance to another word), she has written "Beach is: B is for Alice" um, wait a minute? Who are you? Why are you talking to me? What is this world coming to? Are you people 30 or 16?

Then I felt like an idiot because that means she knew I would look at her page. Which means pseudo has said something to her about me. Which means I may or may not look like an asshat depending on what he told her.

I do wonder though, because he told me once that this other chick, S, might find me on fb and write me a letter because she was in love with him. I laughed about it then but now I'm thinking; does he think I'll do that? Is that what he warned this new girl?

He must have a huge ego if he thinks I'll care enough to find his stupid new girlfriend and look at all her ugly pictures covorting by the beach and stuffing rib-eye in her face. Hello, I would never look at all her pictures while wondering what exactly is so great about her.

Anyway, the thing that bothers me about the whole thing is the fact that I DID find her, and he knew I would and he used that to rub it in my face like a huge asshole. Last time I checked I was a pretty awesome person, one who would never write a letter to a guy's new girlfriend no matter what he did to me. A person who would look at the pictures but feel that bitter-sweet feeling for them because it means at least he's off my hands now. Normally I would think "aw that's sweet" and move on with my life. He had to make it weird.

The worst part? I broke it off with him and now he's trying to make me look like a crazy stalker. Hell-o?! The restraining order expired three moths ago - get over it already!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a letter to write.


Kristen said...

Wow. That's absolutely maddening! And there's nothing you can do because it will just prove that you're crazy.

Ugh. Thank god you have a blog so you can just vent it out.

Facebook is evil and stupid.

Kristen said...

And btw, what kind of a person posts pictures of themselves eating rib eye?

That's just gross.

She sounds like a skank to me...

BloodRedRoses said...

This is what I hate about facebook, it turns everyone into a creeper. The peeps who deny it? Liars. Every. Single. One.

I think the fact that she wrote that just shows how immature she is though... you haven't even done anything! Did she think she was beating you to the punch?? Lame.

Lyla Lou said...

I had such a bad experience when myspace first became big, so I've luckily stayed away from facebook. It's all trouble. And unfortunately for me, if I want to see who my ex's new squeeze is, all I have to do is open my bedroom door.

Ex-pseudo and his new gf sound like immature bums who are probably just using each other as re-bounds. Why else would they be so quick to jump into something and then splash it all over the place?

Ok, but I have to admit, I'm a little confused. What does 'B is for Alice' mean? Is this some weird facebook thing I'm not familiar with? I'm so out of the loop....

rs27 said...

I don't use facebook so I don't know what you're talking about.

But I do know something about restraining orders.

They don't mean a damn thing

Paula said...

Hmmm, he sounds like an ass and she CERTAINLY does. Guys do this though, make their exes out to sound like stalkers. My most recent ex made HIS exes out to be stalkers, when they were probably just trying to get on with their lives and trying to be friendly. He is probably now making ME out to be one too to whoever he is seeing now. But I know better . . . Long story . . . :)

The upshot of it though is just to not rise to it. Sounds like you're not going to anyway, you're way too cool for that! :)

pistols at dawn said...

My main problem with all of these sites is that it puts way too much information directly at your fingertips. I don't mind that my ex has moved on, but I also don't want to have to see the proof in status update form, either.

Which is why I broke into her house and stole her computer: so she can't update it anymore.

Also, because I got like $300 for it, which buys a lot of cheap prostitutes to help dull the pain.

nuttycow said...

I am confused. However, in order to cover my tracks and make it seem like I know what I'm talking about, please pick the appropriate response from the following.

Oh, I'm so sorry.
Wow! I'm really pleased for you, that's ace.
She/He never!
I once had a cat like that.
The best way to do it to use superglue.

Sarah Elizabeth said...

Wow. He really isn't over it yet, is he? Thats immature.

well-intentioned heartbreaker said...

my feelings and your feelings for facebook should date. they'd get along fantastically.

and pssshhh to whatever ex-pseudo-bf said to new immature facebook-lover girl. if he said you're a stalker? at least you're the hot stalker that left him in the dust.

Anonymous said...

what's up with that girl not having her page private? c'mon everyone knows that FB is there for cyberstalkers like ourselves and you need to have your page private to avoid such people... as ourselves.
freakin facebook

Paint-Me-Dioxazine said...

UGH! i HATE facebook for that EXACT reason! I really wish ex's (mine and my future bf's) would all just disappear into the land of lost relationships. i'm not sure if it's funny or terrible that a stupid computer-program can make us feel so stupid and bad about ourselves.

Anonymous said...

Very amusing information

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