Monday

Debt Cards

I got a lovely call today from a gent over at Mbnba bank (at least I think that's what he said - he spoke so fast an auctioneer would have issues keeping up with him). See, apparently I've been pre-approved for a credit card! This is so exciting, I can hardly stand it.

Nevermind the fact that he called me Mrs. Boland for the first five minutes, and when I said I wasn't her he switched and said that I had been pre-approved as well. Imagine that, getting approved without them even knowing your name. What a world we live in!

I can't be rude to these guys though. I feel sorry for them. Like how you feel for Girl Guides selling cookies, Walmart greeters, or ex-boyfriends who wait outside your work and follow you home. If I can half listen, throw in an "uh huh....yup..." and still do my work, just to make some poor unfortunate soul feel like he got through to one person well then by God I will do it.

I'm a humanitarian, what can I say.

I liked this guy's outlook on life though. After asking me a few questions such as what my position was at The Company, yearly income, where the office was located etc., he responded enthusiastically the same way each time:

"Oh, that sounds nice!"

I have a feeling if I told him I was a roadkill scraper making $8,000 a year and the office was located in a sewer he would have said "Oh, that sounds nice!"

He then asked me if I remembered how much I pay for rent each month. No actually, I have no idea. I just give blank cheques to my landlord and let her fill them out. Some months I slide my credit cards under the door and let her go shopping. I just cross my fingers when the statements come in.

I don' t think anyone has ever let him finish his whole speech. He seemed thrilled to read the last ten minutes and kept pausing to check if I was still there. I especially liked how he closed with: "Thank you for choosing mbnba bank". Sorry but actually you cold-called me. I happened to answer the phone but I definitely didn't choose you.

I didn't want to break his poor little heart though so I said nothing and am eagerly anticipating whatever it is he just signed me up for.

17 comments:

nrichie2345 said...

I'm the exact same way! I always feel so sorry for these poor guys. When they call, I always stay on

The Alleged Ringleader said...

I stay on or tell them that my mom is not home right now.

Lilo said...

Doing the Lord's work.

Ant said...

Aw, the cold-callers and "market research" identity fraudsters, bless their little hearts, they do try so very hard.

You should now assume Mrs Boland's identity and create a spending pattern to suggest an intriguing lifestyle - I'm thinking international spy with roadkill scraper as the cover story...

Paula said...

I'm always RUDE to these people. I don't answer the phone to strangers . . . but the ones who try to sell me stuff in the street get short shrift.

JC said...

Hehe, they called me once. I stayed on the phone, half asleep in my bed, for an hour while they questioned me. Than they sent me a letter in the mail apologizing but they had "denied my application" because I do not qualify for a credit card.
Bah. The bastards. Make me think I'm qualified, then they tell me I'm not!

rs27 said...

we both can't be humanitarians. It's in the huminatrians guide to becoming a humanitarian.

Seriously, I own it.

you crazy canadians spelling checks with a "qu" it's so high class!

AttachedMama said...

You definitely got the nice genes in this family. I'm not overly rude to telemarketers, but I don't actually stay on the phone and let them have their spiel either. (Well, not normally, the only time I did the poor guy got faster and faster as he got to the end, like he was trying to spit it all out before I changed my mind and hung up on him.)

pistols at dawn said...

If you're this openminded, I'd like to see if you're interested in some uninspired, disappointing sex.

Ben said...

Ugggggggh terrible. I hate those calls. I can't help but be rude.

idhappens said...

Aw, I always try to talk to them too. They sound so grateful that they are not being yelled at or hung up on. Once I got into a conversation about Harry Potter movies with a telemarketer.

nuttycow said...

rs27 - how else are you supposed to spell cheque?

Alice - you're far too nice. As soon as they start "I'd like to talk to you about your energy...." I say "no" and hang up. Does this make me EVIL?

Jon said...

I got a call from MBNBA last night offering me the VIP Credit Protection Program. I'm pretty sure I was hand picked because of how awesome I am.

Falwless said...

I usually ask a lot of questions, keep them on the phone for quite a while and then at the end I say, "Oh, can you hold on for just a minute?" and they respond, "Yes," and I put the phone down next to me and go back to watching TV. It takes them a pretty long time to hang up - sometimes 8 or 10 minutes.

Yes, I have no life. Don't judge me.

ÄsK AliCë said...

nrichie - I can't help it

Ringleader - the mom one is perfect

Lilo - absolutely

Ant - I'm totally going to do that

Paula - They called me at work, I can't not answer. Then they start talking and I feel bad

JC - The trickery!

rs27 - I was jealous of your humanitarian efforts. I figured I should do my part

mama - I answered one time when Dad was beside me. He stared at me like I was an alien when I was so polite to them.

pistols - Wow, that sounds great!

Ben - I try not to be, but it's so hard!

idhappens - that's cute - I've never gone quite that far

nutty - definitely not evil - more like NORMAL

Jon - I'm pretty sure that's true

fawless - damn telemarketers, that's a good idea though. Subtle...

BloodRedRoses said...

I am so damn rude when it comes to calls like that. I hang up on them. It's true! I am a horrible person, but I can't STAND getting calls like that.

I am SO going to hell.

4 Inch Stilettos said...

Hahahahahaahahah! I love it! I always get things in the mail pre-approving me for something and I have to laugh. I have the world's worst credit and there is no chance in hell that I could even get a loan for the cost of postage to send me that junk mail!

I love the part about remembering how much you pay for rent each month. HILARIOUS.