Thursday

Of Men and Mice


Okay so really just of men, but hey, semantics right?

So I figured out the perfect places to meet men. I haven't actually tried any of these out but figure in theory they should be fabulous:

1. The Drycleaners

· Pros:

Any man who goes to the drycleaners will probably be bathed and we know he has clean clothes.
He also most likely has a job as dry-cleaning is not cheap. That’s already twice as good as my last boyfriend.

· The problem:
His wife/girlfriend probably sent him.


2. The Farmers Market

· Pros:
Enjoys healthy food
Perhaps a masterful chef
Likes the environment
Cares about quality
May use more than one kind of lettuce when preparing a homemade salad

· Cons:

Frequently says things like “dude…that’s awesome”
Grooming is infrequent at best
Insists on keeping the compost right beside your $650 Prada shoes


3. A Football Game or Other Sporting Event

· Pros:
A man who doesn’t stand for something (even if it’s gro
wn men running around in tights touching each others butts) is a man who will fall for anything.
Men need instant replays in their lives; it helps them remember other important stuff.
Society dictates that men who like sports are hot and masculine. I listen to society dammit.
Also, you get to wear tight fun colored clothing and pretend to care. Men love this, even if you root for the other team:


· Cons:
Men can take their sports very seriously, if you meet an avid fan, be prepared to deal with the consequences. I like watching sports so this is not such a con for me but for some: beware.
Often smell like beer
Will feed you romantic lines such as “Hey, grab me two more”, and “Let’s get huddled before I touchdown”

I’m prepared to test my theories out for the good of all woman-kind. I’ll let you know how it goes.

19 comments:

rs27 said...

You forgot blog.

probably an oversight.

I met one of gfs at a laundromat. I was getting my laudry out of the wahser and she said, i'll never forget..."You left a pen in your pants stupid."

It was love.

poobomber said...

Enjoys healthy food
Perhaps a masterful chef
Likes the environment
Cares about quality
May use more than one kind of lettuce when preparing a homemade salad


Other than the chef thing, didn't you mean to put those in a CONS category? I think you made a boo-boo!

So@24 said...

You're way better looking than me

Jon said...

Dude. This is awesome.

Ben said...

I met all my exes in terrible circumstances. All at bars...or drunken make-outs/a little over the pants action...I don't know for the life of me why it never worked out.

Lyla Lou said...

I've always wanted to meet a guy somewhere really cool so that when people ask where we met I'd have a great answer. Like a museum or the vegetable section at the grocery store...."We both reached for the same squash...it was love at first sight..."

But to do that I'd actually have to go to those places. Or start eating squash. Not a fan of squash.

What does it say on those guys shirts? Its kinda small, it looks like "Girls..(something) ride me"?

Dr Zibbs said...

If you want to meet a guy, most chamber of commerces have a young professionals portion of their chapter. I was at one last night and there are always people there lookig to hook up. I could feel the eyes burning on trousers if you know what I mean.

ÄsK AliCë said...

rs27 - sounds very romantical! Definitely an oversight on my part

Poobomber - dammit, why do I even bother? I suck at this game.

so@24 - half my face is missing but uh hey, thanks?

Jon - sooo, farmers market? 7pm?

Ben - I know, me too! Or at work (smart move), I can't figure it out either

Lyla - A good meeting story is awesome but then you have to set yourself up for them. The boys shirts say "Girls Rough-Ride Me" they are cheering for the Stampeders and us girls are in Roughriders colors (CFL)

Dr. Z - No wonder you're a doctor! You so s.m.r.t!

Falwless said...

TWO KINDS OF LETTUCE IN A SALAD? Those kind of men are out there somewhere? Are they all gay??

Lindsay said...

I hear meeting the love of your life at band camp makes a good story too...

The Alleged Ringleader said...

I love it! I have blogged about this before too lol.
I thought hanging out at a culinary school and the restaurant run by up and coming chefs was a good one ;)

Red said...

Single ladies everywhere appreciate your sacrifice.

BloodRedRoses said...

sacrificial lamb I thank thee.

Seriously though, sports events are THE best place to meet a guy!

I hear grocery stores are also good(are they the same as a Farmer's Market?). Hang out by the melons. I hear guys love those.

Dr Zibbs said...

Also, you have really nice hair.

slop said...

dry cleaner guys are not the same as the sports guys. Typical girl, you want it all, right?

Chele said...

I can add some cons

Drycleaner:
most likley have shitloads of unwashed clothes EVERYWHERE in his apartment and only goes like every now and then to get his wash done till it all piles up.

Farmers marked
Sensitive gay men.

sport events:
they are too interested in the game than to notice me.

man I have bad luck...

nrichie2345 said...

Hmm..really good suggestions! Sporting events are always hot spots for single, hot, manly men. I'll have to try the farmer's market and the dry-cleaners though!

pistols at dawn said...

I do like women in tight sports outfits, but just because it's like homoeroticism with boobs.

Claudel said...

You gals have plenty more to learn, you mixup alot of pros with cons... and viceversa, that shows allot, merely it shows that you don't know for sure what type of men you want.