Just Out On My Usual Stroll

Alice (in a text msg): Just bought dill pickle chips and beef jerky...chick at the store looked directly at my stomach to check if I was pregnant

Blondie: hahaha I'm laughing so hard right now...Wow. Only you

Alice:No fucking kidding...and I just discovered a huge wooden staircase and have no clue where I am now

Blondie: maybe you should take your beef jerky and pickle chips and have a picnic in the woods

Alice: I totally would, but the fear of homeless people is stopping me

Blondie: Share the love, they are probably hungry

Alice: Maybe I'll meet the love of my life over beef jerky and pocket change

Blondie: Ha ha, crazier things happen

Alice: Well there's a house down here with a pool and tennis court. Some girl just saw me snooping...let me meet the owner of that & I'll share my jerky

Blondie: Stop, I'm going to pee my pants

My neighborhood is a pretty nice one. In the last three years they've redeveloped a lot of it adding new condo buildings with all kinds of stores in the bottom. There's also a lot of Italian stores around here - 2 restaurants, a bakery, the bistro. Some people call it Little Italy.

We have three parks and a toboggan run. Yup, that's right it's made specifically for tobogganing. Or maybe also to get people in wheelchairs around. Either way.

The problem lies in it's close proximity to downtown. As you can see in this artistic rendering, its simply a hop, skip and a jump across the river into downtown. And directly across that river? The largest homeless shelter in Calgary.

However, upon discovery of this pool/tennis court house, I think I need to go for another walk today. You know, just to be healthy and get exercise.

Plus I'm craving some peanut butter ice cream.


Dr Zibbs said...

I'm telling you that those Blondie stories - word for word - would make a great comic strip. Of course you couldn't call her Blondie.

yllwdaisies said...

Everything was fine. You coulda left the post as it was.

But you just had to go ahead & say PB Ice Cream, didn't cha? Thanks.

Jon said...

So the river is basically a giant moat to keep all the homeless people out of your city? That's pretty damn smart actually.

AttachedMama said...

I have a keyboard again, yay! Haha. You having strange dreams too? ;) Couldn't you make up some reason to need to knock on the door to that house? Your dog's frisbee landed in their pool, or you really love the colour of the trim around the windows and want to paint your own mansion's trim that exact same colour...

The Alleged Ringleader said...

Mmmmm beef jerky and dill pickles!

Lyla Lou said...

Tobaggan....is that like a sled? Why am I picturing a bobsled?

Google I go.

well-intentioned heartbreaker said...

oh you never fail to make me miss calgary.

though, in a few months (or weeks) i will remember how fucking cold i was the night that i locked myself out of my house and tried to sleep in my car. in november. in a tank top and skirt (i had just left work). i ended up knocking on a random door at 4am asking for a blanket.

hm, maybe that story needs to be blogged.

anyway - point being = I MISS CALGARY. but i do not miss the COLD.

rs27 said...

Damn you non peanut butter allergic people!

Ben said...

If you're pregnant, I'd like to know about it.

Kez said...

Hahaha cravings, huh? I get cravings too and I'm not pregnant either. What's with that?!

You're so funny.

Maxie said...

hahaha-- at least you'd have an awesome story to tell if you met your soulmate over beef jerky.

brookem said...

i LOVE dill pickle chips. i had forgotten all about them until now. now i need them. need them now!

Essentially Me said...

Those texts are hilarious! And I've done the beef jerky (or turkey because, you know, it's healthy!) with something random like chocolate or ice cream!

pistols at dawn said...

When are those ice cream companies going to answer all my letters and make some beef jerky ice cream, saving people like you from a second trip to the store?

erin said...

I can't make out what part of town that is... Bridgeland/The Bridges?

I live on the bad side of the Homeless Moat.

ÄsK AliCë said...

Dr. Z - I guess that's already taken...dammit

yllwdaises - mmm pb ice cream

Jon - Our city thought ahead

Attached - totally making up a story...

Ringleader - I know, right?!

Lyla - Lou - why? Is that some weird Canadianism?

Well-Intentioned - um ya blog that shit!

RS27 - sorry to hear about your handicap...

Ben - you should...it's yours.

Kez - thanks doll, I always get weird cravings?!

Maxie - SO true

Brookem -every one in a while I NEED dill pickle chips!

Essentially Me - Blondie is hilarious, and I totally get pregnant cravings without being pregnant

Pistols - mmm beef jerky ice cream *drools*

Erin - Ya, Bridgeland! I used to live on the bad side too - it was interesting putting bottles outside the door and having the homeless pick them up 2 seconds later!