A Few More Reasons

Okay so I think we're all pretty much aware of the fact that if there's a hell I'm going there. Asshole party of one? Your table is ready. This is first evidenced here, and probably in numerous other places in this here weblog of mine but I'm far too lazy to go digging for examples.

In case you need a few more reasons, I present to you:

Reasons I'm Going to Hell, Part II

1. When I'm feeling particularly cheap, I tell the bartender wherever we happen to be that I'm the designated driver. This generally scores me a free soda for which I tip largely to ensure free refills all night.

I then proceed to top up the soda all night with the Vodka that I've managed to sneak in thanks to my ridiculously large purse.

2. I like to watch Biggest Loser sometimes. It's inspiring to watch those poor people have to shed hundreds of pounds...Even more inspiring while eating ice cream and chocolate chip cookies.

3. This?


Made me laugh.

A lot.

4. Two Words: Online Dating

It's not that these guys don't seem nice. It's mostly that they seem like complete and utter morons half of the time. Or maybe it's my Judgey McJudgerson personality.

Here's me, online dating: "ugh he spelled 'your' wrong, NEXT; too old, NEXT; What's with the hair? NEXT; too skinny, NEXT; Hmm...potential...potential (as I skim his profile)...ew whiny! NEXT"

And I wonder why I'm single*


*False. I don't wonder that.

My New Hometown?

So I went to Vegas once when I was like ten, with my older sister, my uncle, his girlfriend and her daughter. We had a great time and all but ya, remember the part about how I was ten?

Then last May Tits McGee and I had to change our travel plans from Mexico to Vegas (remember the whole swine flu thing? Ya, our flights were canceled). We had a ridiculously awesome time the whole 8 days that we were there. We're crazy like that.

Okay, so then my dad bought a place there after my parents got divorced last year. Real Estate is cheap. He bought my sisters and I tickets to come visit him in February and we had a really amazing time being touristy (Hoover Dam) and acting like locals ("psshhh the strip") down there.

Now, there's a blog-meet-up in Vegas in May and I'm pretty sure I'm going. I know it'll be a fan-freaking-tastic time, and although I haven't been blogging lately, this gives me as good a reason as any to start again, get reacquainted with the old crew and meet some new ones.

This means I'll have gone to Vegas 3 times in ONE year though. Am I that crazy?

I think we all know the answer to that.

Fanmail

I get excited when I see that I have a new comment, (as I'm sure you all do) so imagine my disappointment when I realized that half of them were from "Hello Baby". Don't get me wrong, she seems very nice. It's just that you know, say what you gotta say once and then maybe stop.

So we can all thank our new friend "Hello Baby" for the fact that I am now moderating comments. Also, because I'm curious (read: nosy) I had to check out this persons website and I probably have some sort of computer-herpes now. On the plus side, I found out that 爱丽丝 means Alice in Chinese, so there's that. Also, the fact that it's a Chinese website written in Spanish (what??) kind of made my day.

I'm an Idiot

Like we needed more proof right?

So I come to this here neglected weblog, and sigh a sigh of discontentment. Still 5 comments?? I know I haven't written in a while but after 6 months you'd think a few measly people would have had at least something to say, right?

Ya turns out they did. I'm just dumb and somehow missed the part where you have to approve new comments?! And sitting patiently, waiting to be approved, were over 50 comments. Most of them pertained to how to make money quick, some sort of Chinese-type writing and how to buy the best blue cheese (what?) but there were a few from actual IRL readers. So anyway, you're approved!

Not nearly as excited (or wallet-draining) as being approved for a mortgage but hey, it's something.

In more exciting news I'm in the very last week of my CELTA program. Yes, I actually have moved back home (yeah, there's a few stories I'll be saving for Slit-Your-Wrist-Sundays) but it's been mostly not too bad. I have become a hermit living sequestered in the dark confines of my room.

Kidding.

Sort of.

The course itself is amazing. Amazing, hard, fun, interesting, stressful, informative and nerve-racking.

I'm really not looking forward to going back to being a waitress. Le Sigh. Although, seeing as how I saved the $2500 for the course in about a month, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to save a ton of money before I leave for Central America in the fall.

PS - who lives along the West coast? You'll be getting a visit from me. I'm planning on driving down so get those couches ready.

I'm fun, I swear!

Anyhow, I'm done my course at the end of the week and am planning a big trip to Edmonton to celebrate (for those of you who don't know, going to Edmonton to celebrate is like doing something really un-fun to...uh...celebrate. I suck at analogies today. My brain hurts.)

I'll have lots of time and lots of stories once I get back...