Tuesday

It'll Be A Work Of (Interpretive) Art

So if you've read my blog for a while you may remember me saying that I'm a great cook but a terrible baker. All that measuring and exactness and precision. I'm way better at throwing a bunch of junk in a pan or pot or BBQ or grilling up some deliciousness.

Seriously.

Remember when I made baked mac n cheese and used a very wrong ingredient? How about that time I screwed up meringue by thinking cream of tartar and tartar sauce were the same thing (they're really not)?

And then there was the time after my first niece was born. I tried to make this delicious and adorable baby block cake for the surprise baby shower:



Adorable! It looked easy in the instructions - one sheet cake, a bunch of different icings, a piping bag and some little sugar candy animals, how hard can that be, right?



Wrong.




There are approximately 3 different WRONG icings in this picture, not to mention the deformed, crumbly, fingerprinted mess of cubes that literally fell apart as I tried to ice them. I think that empty glass probably had some Vodka to dull the pain of FAILure.



Yup, here's my lovely masterpiece:





I threw it in the garbage.


So, I'm planning on making a cake for a birthday dinner I'm going to on Wednesday. There are 6 of us celebrating our birthdays in April (mine's April 18th - now you have enough time to make me something extra especially awesome by then kthxbai)

25 of us are going for a nice dinner to a restaurant with free corkage, that's right FREE. Meaning we will each bring a bottle of wine and get extra especially drunk, so that when it comes time to present my cake, everyone will be too drunk to care what it looks like.


Hopefully.

8 comments:

P said...

The other option is you buy one and pass it off as your own . . .

erin said...

Or, you could make a betty crocker cake. You know, the ones from a box. And you can buy the icing, too. Those suckers taste really good and at least you did some of the work - with none of the failure!

Bathwater said...

We if you aren't good with instruction at least you get an A for imagination.

ShellShocked said...

I'm with P - the old 'oh yeah, I baked it myself...'.

Baking is more of a chemistry than cooking, I'm totally with you on that one. But kudos for not giving up! :)

Rahul said...

Baking a cake is easy.

Mix, icing, water?

It was easier in my mind.

Anonymous said...

The worst part is that you are always comparing it to the picture. I used to do that with my cooking until I realized there's no way I'm going to get it to look like the picture so as long as it tastes good it doesn't matter to me.

Stilettos and Nostalgia said...

I've missed you, too! If my blog were a child, it would have been awarded to the state a long time ago. But now I'm settled across the pond and will hopefully have more time.

And about the baking. Just...stop. Seriously. You're making me nervous! :)

Andy said...

I once tried to make a friend a 2-layer cake, with vanilla frosting and strawberries on top.

Real result? Something that looked like an iceberg with baby seal blood on it.