Thursday

Joy, Green Cards and How Calgary Has Officially Turned into Seattle

I haven't really written anything since Vegas because compared to that, life seems pretty tame these days. It's been raining here for about 8 years straight, I'm not sure when I moved to Seattle but apparently I have. The problem with this is that I only work when it's nice outside so I've worked maybe 6 shifts total in the last 2 week. 6 shifts does not a millionaire make.

Instead of being productive with all my free time, I spent some time when I got back uploading LOST episodes and other illegal things.

At one point, when I was waiting for my mesozoic computer to load, a flashy sign came up and told me I won a real live American Green Card! I mean, that's pretty much like Christmas, Labor Day and Halloween all rolled into one. So basically if Jesus dressed up as a resurrected cheerleader vampire and gave birth to himself (side note - what the hell is Labor Day?) it would be almost as awesome as my Green Card.

Now I can travel to Arizona!

(Too soon?)

Top things I would do if I was American:

3. Call the washroom a bathroom
2. Laugh when people call us "the States" because obviously we are America (even though technically so is Canada...and Mexico...and all of South and Central AMERICA but whatevs I mean details here people)
1. Make fun of Canadians

I guess that's really all that would change.

For now though, I'll be content being Canadian and saying eh! and drinking piss water Molson Canadian.

The other good part about not working a lot this month is that I have plenty of time to do The Joy Equation. I was lucky enough to meet Molly in person and trust me, she is every bit as bubbly and optimistic as she seems.

If you haven't heard of Molly's program or her amazing website, go check it out. I got my Joy Equation in the mail super quick and am so excited to get started. If you've ever thought you need to recenter, refocus, regroup and figure out what you want from life - which is exactly where I'm at these days - you should definitely look into it.

I have 3 months to go until I start traveling, first to the US and then down to Central America, my life has never been so up in the air. Well except maybe that time when I realized my 3rd grade boyfriend didn't want to marry me on the playground...

Jackass.

13 comments:

Mandy Imnotfamous Moore said...

Please please please make PA part of your journey through the US to South America! You can call my washroom a bathroom anytime you want!!! Swear.

lbluca77 said...

Labor Day is just another holiday us Americans get wasted on. You will love it.

And if you were American you would also have to get used to cops driving cars and riding horses.

Mount up!

Bathwater said...

Really they foul you into thinking you can win a green card. Wow no wonder we make fun of Canadians.

Rahul said...

I started calling America "The States" this week. Let's just say it's not going over that well.

Canadian beer is like moonshine

P said...

So Canadians call bathrooms "washrooms"? Wow, you learn something new everyday. We just call them "loos"...

Jamie said...

Also, another thing you can look forward to when you become a real live American is the ability to sit around and believe you are better than everyone else. Why? Because you're an American damn it.

Also, you have to like baseball.

And complain about how Canada has free health care, but also make fun of Canada for never going to war.

Because violence is really fun.

Wait, could my government find this comment and Big Brother me or something? Am I at risk? Could I move to Canada? I can apologize really well and say "aboot" and do other things that are Canadian.

Oh my god this comment is so long. STOP ME. DEAR GOD I CAN'T STOP.

Ok, I'm done.

Really.

nicole antoinette said...

The Joy Equation is fantastic, you're going to love it. Also, please move here. Like, yesterday.

Mega said...

"And complain about how Canada has free health care"

I didn't realize that tax money was actually...money!

LiLu said...

DC DC DC DC DC DC DC

Just sayin'. We'd love to have you.

overtheprairies said...

Sounds like you have a lot of exciting travels coming up the next while. I'm looking forward to reading all about it!!

Ginny said...

I'm going to throw Boston out there because I'm here and I'll be you non piss beer! And you can make fun of the Boston accent.

Gooseberried said...

You can visit Arizona anyway. You just can't fly to Arizona from Los Angeles, California.

Amber said...

I just finished reading "How to be Canadian" by Will & Ian Ferguson...you would totally love it! Makes fun of Canada, United States and of Canada attempting to make fun of the United States! very funny. Now you realize I'm totally going to stalk your blog from now on...