Phone-Sex, Malaria and Also Some Advice

If anyone has any guaranteed Get-Rich-Quick schemes I would really like to hear about them. I've been contemplating everything from selling drugs to escort services to phone-sex operator.

(shut up, I totally look like this)

Sadly I wouldn't know where to get the drugs to sell, am nervous on first dates and would giggle incessantly at getting paid to talk dirty.

These qualities do not a highly paid escort/drug dealer/phone-sex-operator make.

I figured out that to be comfortable and not worry about money I need about $6400 to last me until the end of January.

I leave next Monday.

Planning your life fail.

I redid a budget and actually should be okay as long as I stick to it and don't go crazy buying copious amounts of kitschy "plastic grumpies" (as my dad calls souvenirs) and expensive meals. And also I might have to sleep on the street with a hat beside me just in case anyone feels like dropping money in it. Or you know, whatever.

And also? I was going to leave Oct. 1st then there was a whole medical scare thing with my dad so we were going to delay our trip for a month, but it turned out to be totally not anything thankthesweetbabyjesus (note to everyone: make sure your pops checks his prostate after age 40. And guys you too. Just do it. Oh and girls, feel your boobies).

Once he got the A-ok from his doc, he called me up to say we're leaving as originally planned. Which now gives me a week and 3 days to sort my life out, donate stuff, transfer my phone to my sister, pack my bags, renew my drivers license, throw a going-away party, learn to hula-...well you get the point.

There's a crap-load to do.

On top of that I have my hands in like 8 proverbial pots (cookie jars?). Looking at freelance writing, applied for a few things online, looking at starting a business (might be too much to deal with right meow), looking at making this video for this thing (how appropriately vague).

So yeah, my mind is all "why are you drinking so much coffee late at night when you know it makes you stay awake applying for jobs you're probably not qualified for and scheming things that are good in theory but maybe not practical and maybe, actually really, you should be getting some sleep every once in a while and not just stressing over Things That Cannot Be Changed"

Like the fact that I should probably maybe just go get some Adavan but it is known to worsen asthma and oh god I need to get my inhalers that cost $100 a month and I'm gone for a year so pair that up with my birth control and malaria pills (sexy) and all of a sudden I owe the pharmacist about $1500.

So yeah, I'll fork over the cash.

I just need to practice saying "Give it to me bad boy"...

*giggle*

In Which I Explain Why I've Never Had The Homesickness. Sidenote: Waterfalls Are My Favorite .

I have a confession.

I've never been away from Calgary for longer then 3 weeks at a time. I know it sounds insane but I guess between school, then being a working stiff, I've just never taken a long vacation. Or moved anywhere else.

This next year is going to be a giant leap out of my comfort zone; in a fabulous way. I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm scared. Nervous, excited, scared, thrilled - all of it.

This year will also be my very first Christmas away from my family. After doing some research, I discovered that here's where I will be instead:

Granada, Nicaragua

Tequendama Falls Near Bogota New Granada
by Frederic Edwin Church

So you know, I think I'll be okay.

You're Welcome

It's day 3 and I'm already just about on the fail boat. And since I have had no time to do anything at all today, I'm just going to give you this picture of me getting ma hair did:



It's like living art. On my head.


(PS - I wrote this last night after work but my internet connection crapped out on me when I went to post it so I'm actually really not cheating by backdating it)

I'm Starting a Business (Send Money)

I gave my friend's dog a haircut today. It looks pretty awesome (read: as if the dog ran through a lawnmower and halfway through tilted her head sideways). Her eyebrows were starting to look like an old Grampa's and her mustache was reminiscent of the batty women who come into my work wearing tracksuits, order Bud and drink it as quickly as it hits the table. Go go gadget gag reflex!

Photo courtesy of Leading Edge Pet Care
Not that I got permission...(please don't sue me)

I guess that could be my art project for the day. Stylized dog grooming - coming to a doggy salon near you.

I did try to take a picture of downtown today but there's still some residual smoke in the air from all the fires in B.C. so it's a bit foggy. Either that or I haven't figured out the de-fogifying feature yet.

Hey camera buffs, have any tips on how to do wicked things with point and shoot cameras? I also have manual setting capabilities, I'm hoping it lightnings one of these days so I can play around with the shutter speed and uh, other camera stuff I guess.

Another fun activity we did today was move my sisters furniture into her new house. Her and her hubby are in Hawaii getting lei'd (oh terrible joke, I'm sorry) so we thought it would be nice for them to come home to a set-up house. I refrained from putting cornflakes between their sheets.

I know, I'm a super awesome sister.

Swearing in Spanish, Art and a "Royal" Wedding

These last few months have been ridiculous. I'm planning my adventures in Central America (I'm even doing a 32 day tour to get myself acquainted with the culture), trying to get a job in Costa Rica (which apparently they don't do online anymore because too many "gringos" flake out) and hyperventilating over money (do I or don't I have enough? How cheap is "cheap"?).

As I'm preparing, I got a few books on tape out of the library to brush up on my Spanish. One of the books is called "Speak-in-a-Week" and is supposed to be a good book to learn Mexican slang.

On my way to work the other day, I pop my CD in, roll down the windows (my air conditioning is broken) and head off. Next thing I know I hear: "Pinche, literally "an assistant cook", means nasty and is used where Americans would say fucking, shitty etc. That fucking asshole would be pinche cabron in Mexico".

I look over and there are 2 middle-age women staring at me with their mouths wide-open. I rolled my window up pretty quick. On the plus side, I now know if someone lips me off I'll have a good response.

I bought a new camera yesterday and after buying a spare battery, 2 memory cards and a carrying case I spent about $550 but I love my camera (it's a Sony-HX5 for anyone who knows anything about cameras). Coincidentally the theme for NaBloPoMo for September is Art so in honour of the theme I'm going to learn how to use my new camera and TRY to post every day this month.

I wouldn't call this art per say but here's the first picture I've taken with my camera, my little crazy miniature husky (actually called a klee kai) and the big fluffy one (called a keeshond):


On top of all my preparations for travel, we've also been organizing my younger sisters wedding. Last Friday she married a real live French Count who is an engineer, a youth group leader and saves orphans in his spare time (I know, right?). They've been together for 7 1/2 years, and are perfect together but really, thanks a lot because now I have to find a Prince who is a doctor and builds orphanages in Peru while volunteering as a fireman.

Wish me luck