Friday

How Travel Agents Get Their Rocks Off

Ahhh!! I never Squee but I feel like squeee-ing because I did it! I booked my flight to Bloggers in Sin City! I had to change my travel dates (I arrive on Wednesday - anyone else be there yet? I also don't leave until Monday night - after the party there's the AFTER party baby) because I'm broke/cheap.

I want as much cash for being there as possible and for the extra 2 nights I can stay at my Dad's place down there for free so it just saves me money all around.

The other problem is the crazy, fly around the entire US of A flight path that these people put me on.

I'm pretty sure they were laughing at me as they booked it.

See, the way there isn't SO bad. I mean Calgary to Salt Lake City to San Francisco to Vegas.

Huh?

Ok, it takes about 7 hours total travel time and 3 plane changes:


Can we say large carry-on and no checked baggage?

On the way home?

Yeah, this is priceless. I mean Wow.

Just Wow:

Yep, they have me flying from Las Vegas to Fort Lauderdale to Houston and back to Calgary.

14 hours travel time and 3 MORE plane changes in the most random places ever!

It cost me less then $500 and NOW? Now I know why.

Oh well, the extra $400 I would have spent on direct or less ridiculous flights is now going towards booze.

You're Welcome!

Thursday

I Need Some Talavera Too

I was featured on the Bloggers in Sin-City page yesterday!



Now if I can find a fantastic deal on a flight I'll be thrilled, any suggestions?!

I'll have to visit my favorite souvenir shop while I'm down there...I'm getting low on dead cows

New Job, Boobs, Red Wine, and Gettin' Ma Hair Did

I've been looking for a new job for a few weeks. My work has been slow and I dislike my female manager (who does the scheduling) because, well, she's one of those girls who is super nicey-nice fakey-fake to your face and actually not really very nice when you aren't around.

I had an interview today at a busy place on the Red Mile (the strip in Calgary made famous by the ultra non-violent party atmosphere of upwards of 55,000 fans during the Flames 2004 run to the cup).

Green means Go, bitches!

It basically got famous because lots of girls flashed their boobs. "Flames in six, show your t*ts!!"

We're all class, all the time.

At least we're happy drunks.

After the interview (I start Sunday, what's up now bitches?!), I was supposed to meet a couple of friends at a wine tasting.

It was pouring rain so I ran in my stupid sundress (it was SO warm this morning!) to the liquor store and, being 15 minutes late, expected my friends to be there. And be all like "where have you beeeeeen" but alas, no sign of them.

I had forgotten my phone at home and being the terrible awesome friend that I am, I know approximately 3 people's numbers (unfortunately one of those people happens to be my pseudo-ex so that even when I leave my phone at home if I know I'm getting drunk, guess who gets a call?)

So I drank wine by myself. It was delicious.

(I found out when I got home that one friend had to go to Saskatchewan that morning and the other had texted me like 6 times to figure out the plans. Whoops)

On my way home, it was still freezing so while I waited at the bus stop I decided to duck in the nearest building for shelter. It turns out it's a Spanish-English school and they are looking for English teachers! Coincidence??

Either way I'm supposed to go there next Wednesday to talk to the operations guy. I told them I don't care about money I just want experience and maybe some Spanish lessons.

WIN!

Also, I got my hair did and settled on this:


In a few months I'll go back and get lots more blonde put in, to make it all summery and such.

The One Where I Talk About My Mother

Apparently I'm a "boomerang kid".

I just found this term today while I was Googling: "What to do when you were forced to move back in with your mother, who hates you and makes no effort to hide it, because you wanted to take this course that costs a ton of money which you just wouldn't have paying rent and bills on your crappy income, so you move back in for what's supposed to be 3 months but then your sister announces she is getting married in a few months so you can't exactly leave the country and miss her wedding or afford to leave and come back due to aforementioned crappy job."

So ya, there's that.

I've been back at home for not quite 4 months after living on my own for 4 years and with a roommate/boyfriend for 4 years before that.

8 years of independence, 4 months to make me feel like a rebellious, repressed teenager. My mother loves saying things like: "you're too old to be living at home" and "you're 20something years old and STILL living at home" and "find somewhere else to live" and "I let you live with me" and oh god I could go on. And on.

The thing is if I could think of any other option where I could save money for the next few months and then keep my stuff somewhere while I'm away for a few years, ANY other option. I would in a heartbeat.

My mother is one of the most difficult people on earth to live with. She snaps at the smallest things (one time she told me she HATES me and then didn't talk to me for a week (a full week) because I microwave shit in Tupperware. Apparently you aren't supposed to microwave your microwaveable containers. WTF.)

She also constantly calls me a drama queen, a princess and all the things that make you think of a spoiled little teenager. She's "joked around" that she should have had an abortion, in front of a good friend of mine, who, after meeting my mother once, is shocked that I turned out normal and with a sense of humor at that.

Meanwhile, my sisters (who are also in their 20s) live at home, never buy groceries, expect my mother to make dinner every night and never offer to help, and have never lived anywhere but home. Yet they seem to not get as much of the wrath as I do.

See, I'm even starting to sound like a teenager!

Honestly though, I do dishes, I buy groceries, I make dinner some nights, and I spend a lot of time keeping to myself.

Yet my mother brings up that I'm living at home and when I say something about my sisters being there she says "Well SL is saving for her wedding and getting married this year and SK is saving for her masters" in a tone that implies I'm worthless although I'm saving to start a new life in a different country and after living on my own for 8 years, since I'm taking a little saving money break, that makes me a horrible person.

Sorry for this rant, I'm just so frustrated. Anyone experienced anything like this?

Suggestions?

I'm to the point where I want to just apply for positions in Costa Rica now and just hope I can get time off for my sister's wedding. If I don't though, I'm basically punishing my sister and myself because my mother is insufferable.

And I'm literally miserable around her.

Sunday

Hair Help!?

Every few months I get this nagging voice every time I look in the mirror. I have this issue where I can't keep the same hair color for longer than a few months.

Today was my birthday, and being sick I went for a low-key brunch with my girlfriends then spent the rest of the day considering different options.

I've been blonde:

I've been strawberry:

I've been brunette:
I think what I'm going for next is dark red:


I have to keep in mind that summer is coming up, and my sisters wedding (where we will be wearing pink) is this summer as well...

Help?

Wednesday

Blog Swap!

She sews! She cooks! She makes beautiful quilts!

Today is the 20sb Blog-swap so my post will be at Pamela's page, My Domestic Life, and hers is below!

The best thing about being a blogger.

Hi to everyone reading Alice’s blog!

I’m Pamela and I’m swapping blogs with Alice today. A little bit about me…I live in Southern Arizona where it is nice and warm right now, unlike the picture in Alice’s last post! I am 24 years old and I’m getting married in 17 days!

I started blogging on livejournal when I first went to college in 2003. I was pretty regular about posting and I pretty much just wrote whatever came to my mind. I just went back and read some of my earliest entries and I don’t really remember much of what was going on at the time. My first post ever was a link to a two carat platinum diamond ring and I say I feel sorry for whoever marries me. That pretty much sums me up! I like sparkalies!

In the last couple of years, I haven’t been very regular about posting and “real life” has gotten in the way of things, but this year, I decided I was going to get into it again. I enjoy writing about the mundane events of daily life and I like seeing that there are other people who are going through the same things I’m going through.

The best thing about being a blogger is that there is no pressure to write anything in particular. People can read it or not and it doesn’t make a difference to me. I enjoy being able to post a little update about my garden or singing my arm hair off while using the stove. The fun thing is that there are other people out there—sometimes on the other side of the world who are struggling with finding purpose in life, finding a career after college, getting married and figuring out who they are. I enjoy reading their blogs and I hope to put together a blog that other people enjoy reading and can relate to.

I have “met” some interesting people through my blog who have opened my eyes to different locations and cultures than I am exposed to here. When I post regularly, they are there and when I take a break and come back, they are still there. Other bloggers are always supportive and the community is always friendly.

So, the best thing about being a blogger is that the online community is always there and I can come and go as a please. I get to know people from all over the world and it is just fun!

Friday

So Does April Snow Bring May Bordeaux?

Oh hai! Remember when April was all "hey April showers bring May flowers" and May was all like "Flowers! Yay! I love me some flowers" and remember how I live in Calgary so even when it's supposed to be APRIL it looks like this outside my window?


Hey! Weather! Are we for effing real right now?

Luckily that was last night and today the sun is shining, the snow is melting and people who suffer migraines are all like "what the shit?" you know, because changing weather hurts peoples heads.

I was planning on going around to apply for new jobs today. See, my job isn't exactly busting out the hours lately. I had 4 days off in a row this week and momma needs some money. The irony is that people are looking for summer-employees (with patio season coming and all) and it decides to snow! Ya, that'll get the boss in a hiring-for-summer mood. Not.

Thanks a lot.

Lastly, that cake I was intent on destroying making? I made my mom ice it for me. Because if you suck at something, make someone else do it for you.


I drank a whole pot of coffee this morning. Can you tell?

Tuesday

It'll Be A Work Of (Interpretive) Art

So if you've read my blog for a while you may remember me saying that I'm a great cook but a terrible baker. All that measuring and exactness and precision. I'm way better at throwing a bunch of junk in a pan or pot or BBQ or grilling up some deliciousness.

Seriously.

Remember when I made baked mac n cheese and used a very wrong ingredient? How about that time I screwed up meringue by thinking cream of tartar and tartar sauce were the same thing (they're really not)?

And then there was the time after my first niece was born. I tried to make this delicious and adorable baby block cake for the surprise baby shower:



Adorable! It looked easy in the instructions - one sheet cake, a bunch of different icings, a piping bag and some little sugar candy animals, how hard can that be, right?



Wrong.




There are approximately 3 different WRONG icings in this picture, not to mention the deformed, crumbly, fingerprinted mess of cubes that literally fell apart as I tried to ice them. I think that empty glass probably had some Vodka to dull the pain of FAILure.



Yup, here's my lovely masterpiece:





I threw it in the garbage.


So, I'm planning on making a cake for a birthday dinner I'm going to on Wednesday. There are 6 of us celebrating our birthdays in April (mine's April 18th - now you have enough time to make me something extra especially awesome by then kthxbai)

25 of us are going for a nice dinner to a restaurant with free corkage, that's right FREE. Meaning we will each bring a bottle of wine and get extra especially drunk, so that when it comes time to present my cake, everyone will be too drunk to care what it looks like.


Hopefully.

Sunday

Turn Left at the Alter

So lately I've been thinking about weddings a lot. No, I'm not getting married but one of my baby sisters is. SL got engaged a month ago and already has the church, the reception hall, the bridesmaids dresses and yes, the wedding gown.

Anyhow, I was talking with a couple of friends about it and Boobie McGee says: "I really haven't thought about my wedding too much except..." and goes on to talk about how many bridesmaids she'll have, the colors, the centerpieces, the location, pretty much everything except for who the groom will be.

My mom loves weddings. Not like "hey neat-o I can help plan a bit" but more like she's taking a three part, 12 week cake decorating class so she can make the cupcakes for the wedding. She has ordered a bazillion yards of organza to make pew-bows and centre-pieces and chair-slips and ninja-ties or something.

I have been to approximately 789,000 weddings in my life. I used to work at a hoity-toity (shuddup spell check) private members-only, your-first-born-son-must-be-given-up-as-payment-club so there were weddings there practically every weekend. Plus my friends seem to enjoy getting married apparently.

I'm going to start feeling like that chick with the 27 bridesmaids dresses and no man pretty soon.

This post is all over the map. It's a wedding map but good lord, where was I going with this?

Oh right, I think when/if I ever get married I'm going to send invitations that say: "Come party in (insert awesome vacation spot here)".

Planning? Done.