Tuesday

This Post Rated R - for Ridiculous

Last night I took the C-Train (it's our version of the Sky-Train or just basically an above ground Subway) down to Blondie's. We had some last minute Halloween things to buy at the mall.

Now, I thought my costume was pretty scandalous, but then Blondie goes and buys a skirt at least as short as mine and a corset top. Which of course made me remember that there will be girls wearing only lingerie. So I can embrace my booty-short clad bum and the tiny skirt it's (barely) hidden under.

There were these douche bags on the train talking about human feces on one of the platforms. It was revolting and went something like this:

"Fuck man, there was this SHIT one time on the platform. Like real fucking human shit"
"Fuck off! Really? That's fucked"
"Fuck dude it was fucking shit, just a huge pile of fucking human shit"

and on...and on...and on

I nearly threw up. Now I don't give two shits if you swear around me (obviously) but the fact that there were old ladies and people on their way home from work? "Dude" watch your goddamn language.

Anyway after the mall fiasco, where I spent another $50 I DON'T HAVE on stockings, a corset and ribbons, we were back on the train when these three boys get on. One of them was obviously so drunk/high that he could barely stand but refused to sit.

As he swayed back and forth telling his friends about the "slut he got with" I thought of that New Haircut video and started laughing. Really, really loud. I could just see the kid "Brosky! Bitches love my new haircut - Fucking skanks!"*

Anyway, needless to say he wasn't very impressed and wouldn't stop glaring at us for the duration of the trip. I stopped laughing when he made a joke to his friends that he had protection and made his fingers into that gun shape.

Alice = Gangster Bait



*The best knock-off of this video by far is the Senior Citizens edition

9 comments:

Paula said...

why do these idiots seem to want us to hear their damn crappy (pardon the pun) conversations so much. grr, it's infuriating.

Dr Zibbs said...

Good one Alice. And that haircut vid is great. I must be out of it because it's the frist I heard of it.

Ben said...

Ummmmmmmmm I think I need to know what your costume is.

Wait...

Is it Blondie??

Bahahahaha you can tell her I said that.

LYDIA said...

I watched the video and found myself thinking "I am so glad that guy moisturizes his face..."

Very sad indeed.

Angela said...

You ain't seen nothin' till you've seen the Little Kid version.

pistols at dawn said...

If you watch videos like that even two seconds after their cultural sell-by date, you'll think pop culture is the lamest thing ever.

Maxie said...

When I was in high school someone pooped in the hallway... in a bucket.

It was freakin awesome.

well-intentioned heartbreaker said...

my favorite memory of the c-train from when i lived in calgary:
i was in a restaurant, looking out the window, and watched AN AMBULANCE with it's LIGHTS ON, waiting for the c-train to finish crossing before it could make it's left turn.
and then i immediately moved back to vancouver where our public transit it high above ground and will never stop an ambulance from saving my life if need be ;)

and uhm, ps: WHAT ARE YOU BEING FOR HALLOWEEN!?

Lyla Lou said...

Alice=Gangster Bait is the best thing I've read all day. Seriously. I choked. It was bad.