Wednesday

Alice's Advice

Reading one of the ever hilarious Brandy's posts, in which she was talking about a wine hangover, I realized that I knew the cure for this debilitating condition. Which then made me think that maybe I actually know more about Stuff That Matters then I thought I did. So without further ado here is the first segment of: Alice's Advice

1. The secret to enjoying wine hangover-less: try taking an antihistamine (like Claritin) either before you drink the wine or right before you go to sleep. There are a lot of histamines in wine which can cause headaches and that general crappy I-Want-to-Kill-Myself feeling

Also, if you are drinking red wine try having a cup of black tea before you drink the wine and maybe another one after a few glasses. You might feel like an idiot ordering tea at a wine bar but trust me, the bioflavonoids in tea counteract the histamines that cause headaches.

2. Another great hangover cure (after a night of heavy Vodka consumption for example) is to drink anything green. A shot of wheat grass is number one, with that Happy Planet Green Machine (or something - I dunno the name but it's green) drink coming in a close second. Guzzle that crap back and you'll feel just dandy in half an hour (that's what she said).

3. Body wash does not work as shampoo. Neither does bubble bath.

4. If you have a very common first and last name, don't fly a short distance, on standby, last minute, over the US border. Even white girls get strip searched.

5. When on a first date save the stupid questions for once the relationship gets boring. If you want to know what I do for fun, ask me to plan a date. Don't ask me what I do for fun, I'm certain my answer won't be what you want to hear.

6. Getting a friend to call in sick to work for you only works if it is not 3 in the morning and if said friend is not as obliterated on cheap beer as you are.

Alright kids, there you have it. Some sage words of advice, I tell you. Need any answers to life's tough questions? Unsure how to get the soap scum off your mirror? Well, don't ask me. That's what Yahoo answers are for.

18 comments:

Matt said...

you're right about the wheat grass! I have tried that and it does seem to work...

it just tastes like shit.

Dr Zibbs said...

I make sure to drink gallons of water.

Alice said...

man, i already take an antihistamine every night before bed. and i still get wine hangovers :-) i may try this black tea bit, though.

also, #6 is very, very good advice.

rs27 said...

antihista what now?

It took me 40 minutes to read this post because I was looking up all the phrases.

I'm smart.

d said...

Love. It.

Thank you ;) I had no idea about the Claritin trick.

Ben said...

I love that you really ARE an expert on this :)

Angela said...

I hope you or anyone you know didn't get strip searched at the airport.

So@24 said...

Hold on, I'm scribbling these on the back of my arm with sharpee

ÄsK AliCë said...

Matt - agreed, it's vile but works SO well

Dr. Zibby-Zabby - that works too

Alice - maybe your body is immune then? Try the tea!

rs27 - it's sad that I know this is what you're saying

D - miracle, I tell you

Ben - Far too many drunken wine nights

Angela - my little sister did! She's like the sweetest most innocent looking person on earth too

SO - good call

Errant Gosling said...

Good advice on the wine -- I get wine hangovers worse by far than from any other booze. I'll give this a shot.

Mud in the City said...

Not alc related, but good advice nonetheless:

- NEVER start a conversation with that 'nice person sitting next to you' on a long haul flight. You'll live to regret it!

Beave said...

You can even get strip searched on a 2 month pre-reserved flight from Atlanta to Chicago if your a 20 something year old white boy. Not as much fun as I thought it would be.

Paula said...

Phoning in sick at three in the morning??? awesome idea! lol!

The Alleged Ringleader said...

These are great! I'm gonna have to try them out!

Megkathleen said...

Holy shit I've never heard such intelligent hangover cures. I'm testing out the black tea theory this weekend.

Chele said...

yeah clartityne and zyrtec works wonders, i used to take one before i went started drinking and one before bed. I will have to try the wheat grass since i love vodka and the tea.

BeckEye said...

I always thought the best cure for a hangover was to just keep drinking.

Former Fat Chick said...

avoid wine- vodks only, and drink 1 glass of water for every 2 drinks, if you get shit faced- eat a greasy burger before bed and 2 asprin.

Also, Latin girls get strip searched too, specially when you are traveling from Colombia..not nice