Irony is Awesome

I was supposed to go meet Frenchie for coffee after work today but was running a bit late. I saw the train coming and decided that I didn't have time to pay for the ticket.

In Calgary it's an honor-system basically, and the only one in North America that actually makes money. Usually, even though I'm one stop outside of the free fare zone (downtown it's free to ride the train), I'll pay for it. The transit cops like to sit at my stop and hand out $150 tickets and I'd really rather not be paying for their coffees for the month.

Anyway, today I didn't have time so I ran across the street and into the door of the train right before it shut. Suddenly I got a gut feeling that the transit cops (I use the term "cop" loosely) would be there, in fact I almost got off the train downtown to buy a ticket and wait for the next one.

We arrive at my stop and, of course, the cops are standing on the platform. Luckily I was on the last car so I just ducked into the next one while they were busy checking everyone on the platforms tickets. I can't afford $150. Also, I didn't pay my last C-train ticket (I sound like a criminal here) so I'm not sure what they do to you, haul you off to pseudo-jail? Fine you double? I really didn't want to find out.

I get to the next stop only to realize that there's no sidewalk and the only way to get to my house is down a busy road that is currently covered in slush, mud and ice. I'm tiptoeing around in this in my stilettos when I suddenly realize that a sidewalk has appeared across the street. In my excitement I started to cross and then see a car heading straight for me.

"Shit, shit, shit," I started yelling as I continued running to cross - another car coming the opposite direction came out of nowhere and I was almost toast. I made it to the other side and realized that I couldn't breath. Whether from my asthma, the cold, the panic or what, I don't know but I started gasping for air.

I slowly made my way down the hill knowing that my inhaler was at my house, a few blocks away. I finally made it home; wet, cold, gasping for breath and shaken.

The reason I was running late? I was at a Health & Safety meeting.


Some Guy said...

Classic! I know the whole thing must've sucked, but take heart in knowing it made for an excellent story for the rest of us.

Brian said...

Ah the C-Train ... it sounds so dirty but it was one of the cool things about Calgary.

Lived and worked there for a year at SAIT and would take the train downtown once in a while for something to do.

Angela said...

Haha, a health and safety meeting!

At least you didn't get fined!

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

That's an excellent punchline! Sorry it was such a bad experience, but that is top-notch blogging material, right there.

Kez said...

Yes - irony truly is awesome.
Hee hee.

Matt said...

Because dying is far better than going to pseudo jail!!!

momcat said...

You obviously cannot cheat cos one way or the other you are going to suffer!

Elle Bee said...

In Edmonton, if you don't pay or show up to your court date for your ticket they hunt you down apparently. Like collections agencies. And there's the possibility of jail time. Seriously transit cops? Calm down.

Anonymous said...

irony = awesome.
alice = awesomer.

smooth moves on duckin the c-train cops. and the car. oh, and the other car, too. har.

pistols at dawn said...

Oh, man. Shouldn't the Health meetings in Canada be: "Everyone stay inside 'til April. It's cold as ball out?"

Errant Gosling said...

I'm every glad you made it through unscathed and no less rich. Irony has a way of kicking your ass sometimes.

Anonymous said...

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つくば ペット火葬
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つくば ペット葬儀
soul source production
ベトナム シーフード
高収入 アルバイト
高収入 アルバイト
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人妻 出会い
性感マッサージ 名古屋
M性感 名古屋

Paula said...

I HATE when things like that happen - it's just plain bad luck! And nothing worse than crossing the road and nearly getting ran over. It happens to me most mornings. said...

Haha. That's too funny.

BeckEye said...

Did one of those transit cops look like Rod Serling?

Off topic...
Holy shit, you have Chinese spam!!! That's the greatest thing I've ever seen.

ÄsK AliCë said...

Some Guy - the funny part is that that's what I immediately thought when I got home

Brian - ya C-Train sounds a little raunchy doesn't it?

Angela - thank baby Jebus for small miracles

Imaginary - exactly!

Kez - one of my favorite things ;>

Matt - well there could be pseudo weirdos wanting to pseudo shove things in weird places or something?!

momcat - lesson learned

Elle Bee - that's hardcore!

SarahBelle - ha ha ya, I'm smooth like that

Pistols - yes! Balls!

Errant Gosling - I know, damn irony

Anonymous - not sure if that's some fucked up suduko or whatever but I'm just smiling and nodding

Paula - ya it's bad over there, pedestrians do NOT have the right of way. Ever.

ablogofherown - thanks

BeckEye - Nope, no Rod Serlings around - although it WAS sort of like the Twilight Zone on that train platform...

slopmaster said...

You criminal... I'm all for the honor system though, if you can't pay it, you pay it next time. The fine seems a little stepp though.