Tuesday

Me, Myself and I

I think in total I had 9 hours of sleep this weekend. It was even a long weekend so I had three days to rest and relax, clean my house and get organised for my upcoming trip to the East Coast. Of course, I ended up not getting anything done at all and will now have to come home after working both jobs and clean my house top to bottom since the furnace guys are coming tomorrow (goody).

I won't be home to enjoy the furnace men although I can imagine they are named Larry and Ted, wear pants that are slightly too tight for them and would not be found in any porn movie involving home repairs. At least that's what he sounded like on the phone. Y'all.

This morning, bored and tired at work, I googled myself and found out that I am apparently a photographer, a model, a folk singer, a Doctor (natural health practitioner actually), a video game tester, a news anchor, a member of a womens lacrosse team, a contestant on a popular reality TV show, author/artist, and a nanny. I'm a very busy woman. The good news is that my name is so common that future employers will have a hard time finding any dirt on me via Google.

Either because I'm intrepid and resourceful or sort of a creepy stalker, sometimes I look up the name of the guy(s) I'm interested in on Google. Most times it generates either their Facebook profile or the time it took them to run a marathon and that they came in 357th out of 400. Guess I need to pick some more interesting men.

In other news, I hate when people talk to me in the elevator. Unless you are complimenting my shoes, I don't care about small talk. What the weather is like or how fast the elevator is or what your son is going to name his dog is not a detail I care to discuss with you. I talk to enough strangers every day, I don't need random dude in an elevator to be my new friend. Unless you are gorgeous and on your way to check-in on your multi-million dollar company that you preside over from your home in the Carribbean, feel free to chat. Otherwise just please don't talk to me. It's awkward.

Oh yes, it's my adorable niece's birthday today and she's one year old
Happy birthday Meredith!




16 comments:

well-intentioned heartbreaker said...

rode the elevator up to my office, sat down, opened my google reader, and read this.

i hate the motherfucking elevator small talk. i also hate it when you can tell the other person thinks it is uncomfortable without it. they stand there swaying, running their hand through their hair, or pretending to be really interested in the 3 sentence flyer they just picked up. it ISN'T awkward, it is a necessity, and let's just go about our own business, preferably in silence. thank you.

Stilettos and Nostalgia said...

Awww, she's a cutie.

Elevators are stupid. If I didn't wear heels everyday that would get shredded by the stairs, I'd prefer to take them just to avoid the small talk.

Dr Zibbs said...

Yeah but you have to admit, if someone sang an ole' time song like, "If I knew you were coming I would have baked a cake"...that wouldn't impress you?

Angela said...

I'm not a fan of random small talk like that either--it's just too awkward.

notsojenny said...

awww... she's so cute!
i'm obsessed with my nieces. i think they're the cutest girls in the world so i know how excited you are about the birthday.
if i thought no one would notice i'd totally steal the older one and raise her as my own : )

Maxie said...

If you google my name together I'm the only person that comes up. It definitely sucks to have an unusual name in that situation.

Dr Zibbs said...

It's me - Dr Zibbs. I'm back again to see if you wiped that junk off your face

Kate said...

I'm apparently some sort of therapist. Funny, that's what I went to school for and now never use... My alter ego took over.

Falwless said...

WHAT A DOLL BABY! She's adorable!!! And your niece is cute, too!

I hate elevator chit-chat. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT.

One time, for a communications course in college, we had to do this experiment where we broke "unspoken rules" in everyday life. One of the things we did as a group was we'd get on an elevator and one of us, instead of looking straight ahead at the doors, would turn around and look at the other elevator riders. Well, let me tell you, that was one of the most awkward and hilarious things I have ever done. People are so out of their comfort zone they don't even know how to react. Most try to pretend it isn't happening, which is the height of funny. Try it sometime. I highly recommend.

(Yes I have no life.)

(Zip it.)

Ben said...

I don't think strangers compliment other strangers on their shoes enough these days. What ever happened to manners?

Lyla Lou said...

Awww, Meredith is adorable! And I google all the guys I date, and ex boyfriends, friends, random words, I get really bored at work. Stalker? me? probably.

AttachedMama said...

I hate elevator talk too. (And pretty much any other kind of small talk with people I don't know. Probably why I made a crappy bartender. I just don't care that much about a stranger's son's dog.)

And she is pretty adorable, if I do say so myself. Thanks for the birthday wishes for her!

rs27 said...

If I google myself you find nothing. Really nothing.

I don't exist.

ÄsK AliCë said...

Well-intentioned - ugh I know, just mind your business!

SaN - If I didn't wear heels and work up ten flights of stairs I might consider it. Hate the small talk!

Dr.Z - You know me too well. Serenading with a song about cake? Perfect.

Angela - Always!

NotSoJenny - This is my only niece and she lives far away from me so when I get to spend time with her I absolutely LOVE it!

Maxie - Oh ya, no kidding! Mine is like "1 of 12 million results"

Dr. Z - What junk? That's what my face looks like. I had a great plastic surgeon, GREAT, ok?!!

Kate - People love making strangers into their therapists

Fawless - Hahaha I have to try that, although I would feel far too awkward I think to actually pull it off. And thanks - she is a doll ;>

Ben - Why do I bother choosing which of my 89 pairs to wear if no one even compliments me? Seriously, rude people these days.

Lyla - she's precious! I totally do that too. Thank gawd, I'm not a nut-case!

attachedmama - right you are, adorable! There's a package on the way for her too :)

Rs27 - Wow, that's perhaps the saddest thing I've heard all day

Renegade Calgarian said...

Hi! Thanks for the comment earlier (I have been behind on my blogging) - it is indeed great to have a fellow Calgary blogger around! P.S. Totally agree re. elevator small talk - ew.

d said...

Um darling, googling someone you're dating is not creepy in the least. It is just necessary in this day and age. You can see if they're listed on a swinger or molester web site at the very least. Not that swingers are to be equated with molesters, but you get my point.

Very cute little niece!

xo d