Monday

Drastically Dysfunctional

You know how people jokingly say that they're such a dysfunctional couple? I met the most dysfunctional couple on earth on Saturday night.

See, Frenchie, her husband PA, and I went to a Halloween party at a friends house who I haven't seen in over a year. She's this fabulous artsy girl who takes lessons in things like Hula Hooping and Salsa Dancing. She made her own costume, a unicorn, which consisted of a skintight leotard, a tail, horn etc. it was super cute.

We were having a good time once the initial awkwardness that you inevitably feel at a social gathering where you know exactly 4 people wore off. Everyone was really friendly and lots of people didn't know each other so it was nice.

One girl (she was dressed as a school girl so that's her name now) came and sat by Frenchie and I, chatting for about ten minutes. When she left Frenchie turned to me and said: "That chick had her boob pressed up against me that whole time," we giggled a little and forgot about it.

Later on, school-girl was sitting on James Bond's lap, holding his hand and everything so we figured they were a couple. That was until two seconds later she jumped up and grabbed the Mormon's hand and started slow dancing all sexy with him.

We were very confused but thought "maybe she's just friendly"

Outside Frenchie and PA were giving each other a hard time because PA is the one who cares about details - for their wedding he took care of figuring out decorations and food while she basically rolled her eyes at him. Someone called them dysfunctional and that's when it came out.

Bond says: "well, my wife is in there making out with the Mormon!"




Wait, what?

Then the clincher: later on James Bond tells us he's gay. Okay guys, you win.

24 comments:

Ben said...

Question. Mark.

?

Shannon said...

Hahaha that must have been totally awkward.

Poobomber said...

If I saw my wife making out with a mormon -fictitious or otherwise-, I'd turn gay too.

LYDIA said...

Yeah, I am still lost.

Ashley said...

That is beyond dysfunctional. I'm not sure there's even a word for that...

Dr Zibbs said...

Har Har.

well-intentioned heartbreaker said...

hrmmm..

Angela said...

I'm lost, too. Who's wife was making out with the mormon? Who's gay?

Paint-Me-Dioxazine said...

I'm not sure if that's my definition of perfect relationship or worst relationship...?

Paula said...

That is fucked up, man. SERIOUSLY fucked up . . .

rs27 said...

I think Ben said it best.

Have you been drinking?

Ben said...

But RS and I still love you.

miss milly said...

Talking unicorn = buttercups filled with awesomeness.

Dancing with a mormon? talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel! lol jk

and I agree with everyone else on this one.... totally dysfunctional.

pj said...

now if the gay guy and the mormon were together that would have been something special.

ÄsK AliCë said...

Ben and rs27 - I edited the picture just for your sakes. I know it's hard to follow but here's a breakdown:

James Bond is married to School-girl who is groping Mormon-guy. James Bond is gay.

Follow? Me neither...

words words words said...

Maybe James Bond misunderstood "gay marriage" and didn't realize he could marry another dude. I've said it before and I'll say it again...I never get invited to the good parties.

Kez said...

Um. Wow.
Yes, they win.
By a landslide...

Gwen said...

Wha? Yeah, they totally win.

cassette45 said...

wait... what???? weird!!! I have a million questions I'd love to ask them now.

Lyla Lou said...

shudder. Scariest threesome ever.

BloodRedRoses said...

There are no words...

Weird!!

(Ok, so maybe there's one word.)

Megkathleen said...

Ok, now you have to hang out with these people again to get the whole story.

pistols at dawn said...

Wow. That is at least 14 kinds of weird. And hot.

stealthnerd said...

Uh....weird.