Sunday

The One In Which I'm Emotional

(For the full Pseudo story - click here and scroll down)

Ex-Pseudo called me last night. I was at my "Cheers" playing Buck Hunter after work. The phone rang and everything else ceased to matter. My heart stopped, I felt my breath catch in my throat.

I haven't spoken with him in months, I haven't seen him in over a year and yet the same old feelings came crashing down around me. Last time he called in October, I didn't answer the phone - this time I did.

As soon as I saw it was him calling I knew it was over for me. I didn't think about the great guy I've been on two dates with recently and who sends me sweet random texts; I didn't think about what was going to happen when I saw Pseudo; I didn't think logically or take the time to think about the ramifications of what may or may not happen. I answered and I knew I would see him.

"B saved you some pizza, come to B's house," as if we had spoken an hour ago. I laughed and told him I wasn't sure, knowing full well I'd be over there shortly.

When I got there he said: "I guess you know me and T-Bone broke up?" to which I replied (honestly) "umm...no actually I didn't".

I couldn't believe I was there. I berated myself but yet felt happy. I can't begin to explain, I don't even understand it myself.

I woke up in his arms

And now I'm lost again

9 comments:

Sarah said...

feeling like i'm going to end up in that same position myself. my ex and i can't seem to get away from each other for more than a few months. he drives me crazy in a good way and a bad way haha. good luck :)

Andhari said...

This is sweet, I think there are always special men in girl"s lives they cant say no too :)

Angela said...

Girllll.... we ALL go through this. Gah, it sucks!

Matt said...

did you guys, "DO it"?

erin said...

You're not alone. My ex texted me last night at 10:45 to see if I wanted to grab a drink on his way home from band practice. I was in bed, but awake, and I GOT OUT OF BED to hang out with him for an hour. And we're just friends these days.

But I don't regret it.

P said...

So what now???

Habbala said...

Totally doing the same thing! Although I sometimes switch from calling him pseudo to "summer boyfriend". I have no idea why we can't stay away from each other... but beautiful post. :)

Andy said...

WOW.

We all have that weak point. Right now, I think I've met the person that in the future might turn things out of my comfort zone VERY often. When I'm probably with other men.

Monster Girl said...

I have been here, exactly. Well written.